I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, wait a second — Wasn’t that the plot of the first movie, and didn’t it turn out to be a rather crappy and expensive flop?”
Yes, but the new movie is guaranteed to be a hit. Firstly, its budget is at least ten thousand times the first Waterworld, (and we all know that huge budgets make for great films).
“But where are they getting that kind of money?”, you might ask? From everyone of course! Gore and his fellow producers came up with the great idea that, since the first movie was so totally crappy and unsuccessful, everyone should be required to have a personal investment in the sequel. This way, even if some people don’t really care about the film, they will be obligated to see it because they will have a financial stake in its success.
The film is currently funded through a voluntary program where people can purchase “Sequel Credits.” Currently, those who don’t wish to contribute are being ignored, marginalized, or brow-beaten into guilt-laden compliance. The national media has been playing their part, only referring to the sequel in glowing and positive terms. Those who have voiced criticism of the film, such as its lack of convincing dialog, or concern over its rather ludicrous plot line, have been immediately silenced and shunned.
Gore is currently working closely with President-Elect Barack Obama to make this financing process non-voluntary, in a government initiative he calls, “The People’s Waterworld 2 Sequel Success Lock-Box.” Waterworld 2 will be starring Al Gore as a rather portly and desperate character, who is struggling for relevance during a time of planetary chaos. The film is slated for a 2013 release, pending sentient life on earth still exists.
Here’s the official Teaser-Trailer:
That’s 2013, so be sure to mark your calendars…