How do you put Double Bass to good use?

Like that … mostly

Ladies and Gentleman, Ted Kirkpatrick

How Not To Be Seen

In case you forgot…

Arguably, one of the best sketches Monty Python ever did.

…And the Halo Edition:

…And the World of Warcraft version:

Just a little early Christmas gift to blog readers!

Weekly Wedding Photo

That’s right. What the Crap, I am married! I plan to post a pic up here (perhaps a larger one on Flickr) every week or perhaps even more often. Here’s a nice one to kick us off (notably lacking the fetching Mrs. Colclough though…).


A Short Course in Brain Surgery

Now I know that Single Payer Health care sounds like a great idea. Most people I talk to always tell me that, “It’s working in Canada.” But how true is that?

On The Fence Films

Critique of the new WordPress Theme: Garland

So I thought I would try out the new Garland theme by Steven Wittens and Stefan Nagtegaal and adapted by Matt Mullenweg for a while. It seems only appropriate that I should critique it as well.


3 Columns with a fluid central data column.


Color Picker: The new theme sports a Color Picker that allows you to alter certain aspects of the themes colors. This is nicely implemented and very user friendly (You can effectively alter your site’s color scheme without knowing or learning one letter of web code or anything of Hex Colors.) This is especially nice because the elimination of Editable CSS from WordPress’ non-paying users usually strips this inflexibility away.


Moving sliders eliminate having to learn CSS

Three Columns: The three column layout with a fluid center (data) column has often been deemed the Holy Grail of CSS layouts. Of course, that’s debatable – but, as a blog format, it certainly provides a number of clear advantages. The third column allows more relevant information to be in clear view of the reader without scrolling. Also, you (the blogger) are given a nice alternate area for Widgets.

Widgets: Yeah, been around forever, but – Just think if it didn’t support them. As I mentioned above – you can certainly take more advantage of the Widget features in conjunction with the Three Column Layout.

Design: Overall, I think that the Garland theme is pretty nice on the eyes (although there are several oddities that I will cover in the Weaknesses section). The color altering features allow you to choose quieter colors (as opposed to crappy) that are pleasant to your readers eyes. The white semi-transparent extension of the center column into the header space is a nice breach of our typical squares and rectangles.


Non-included HTML Styles: I feel like Matt the designers may have gotten carried away with some of the complex features of this theme and forgot about some of the more subtle niceties. As a web designer I can resonate with this problem. Often – you get so excited about developing an over arching feature that you leave out some of the basic text stylings. Update: Heine pointed out (below) that “The Garland theme design (and color picker) is by Steven Wittens and Stefan Nagtegaal and ported to WordPress by Matt Mullenweg.”

For instance:

  • Unordered
  • Lists
  • Look
  • Crappy

Notice the lack of clean bullets or anything special for that matter. The Heading elements are also particularly bland.

Post Divisions: There are none. Well, there are the Post titles and a little space – but they hardly create enough of a visual break from the end of the previous post. This is crucial in a blog design since most posts are completely stand alone thoughts/entities. I don’t want my readers to be skimming an article about Beaver football and suddenly be reading about Success Stories.

Post Data: Similar to the problem with the post divisions, each post’s Date, Author and Comments are completely without style. This is problematic for the same reasons as the post divisions. Though the Who, What, When data is relevant to the post – it is not the content. There needs to be some clear distinction between the two.


Here is an example of nice post division and post data:

Footer: Once again – the footer junk just gets blended into the content. Some sort of divider there would be greatly appreciated.

So, overall – a nice theme – clean and minimalist, which is certainly to be admired today with any web design. The included features are greatly appreciated. It’s the basic elements that were overlooked in this case. Perhaps they will be touched up in future! Either way, nice work Steven and Stefan and thanks for providing everyone with yet another nice option for their blog.What do you think?

Update: I failed to mentionThis review is of the version that regular users can activate. Of course, if you are hosting a WordPress blog elsewhere, Garland’s true features become available. Steve Wittens talks about it below:

In the Drupal version:

Lists are properly styled and have bullets.
The post meta info (author / date) blends in better.
Posts have a nice divider between them.
Comments are styled completely differently.
(sidebars) This is really 8 themes in 1. You can remove the left and right sidebars if you want (without leaving a blank space), and the theme comes in a fluid and fixed width version (which centers itself).
You can lock colors together to auto-generate part or whole of the color scheme based on a single color.

Be sure to read his full comment below. If you are looking for the Drupal version you can get it here. You can also give the color picker a spin.
Thanks Steve!

Discover Your Second Digestive Track

Recent scientific discoveries have unveiled the possibility of a second digestive track in humans.

Above you can see the Normal Digestive Track. As you can see, ingested food items proceed down the esophagus to the stomach where they are dissolved over a matter of hours. Then the food passes down through the rest of the system and the useful stuff is absorbed and used for energy. The waste is expelled. Most things you eat pass through this system.

Warp Zones

Here you can see the Coffee Digestive Track. This system bypasses all of the other organs with what is scientifically known as the Hyper Speed Mega Flush Digestive System (HSMFDS). Approximately 99.675% of the ingested items are not digested in any way, shape, or form. Often, the ingested items reach the body’s expulsion unit at nearly explosive sub-light speeds. It also seems apparent that the HSMFSDS enters a hyperactive state, sometimes quadrupling force and speed during movies and car rides.

Please let me know if you have had any personal experience that might confirm or deny the existence of the HSMFDS.

Do words express real meanings?

Dr. Larry Arnn, President Hillsdale College (Michigan) on the Hugh Hewitt show:

“There are two kinds of people. There are people who think that words express real things and have meanings, and there are people who don’t. And the people that think that they have real meanings are always in favor of limited government. And the people who don’t, are never. And remember, our country starts with a statement that it is a violation of the laws of nature and of natures God to govern anyone without their consent. And each of your listeners should stop for a minute and say, if you were asked at this minute; What are those laws, And where would you find them out? Could they answer?”

  • Do words express real meanings?
  • What are our laws based on?
  • Where would you find that out?

Santorum’s Farewell Speech–The Full Text

For just a few moments, Turn Off the tube (so you don’t have to hear some reporters idea of a story) and Read Mr. Santorum’s farewell remarks. They deserve to be heard. Then, you can make up your own mind.

Santorum’s Farewell Speech–The Full Text

Don’t forget to yank the giant lever

danger bowl

I spotted this wonder-pot when I was out hiking Mt. Pisgah with FBC’s new Scout Troop 282 – this weekend.

And here is the ceiling above:

Just kidding.

Here’s the question: What were they thinking when they designed this Bathroom? I guess I can sort of understand the need for the diamond plating as the area in front of the bowl could possibly become slippery (successfully avoiding the need for this). My only guess about the massive lever is that they were having problems with people not flushing. I guess they didn’t think about the fact that it would make it look like a launch-pad.