I almost didn’t post this, but how could I not… It’s obviously prime What The Crap material:
Yeah, I apologize for that. HT: Ace
I almost didn’t post this, but how could I not… It’s obviously prime What The Crap material:
Yeah, I apologize for that. HT: Ace
This was an extremely close eight-way tie with The Beach Boys’ Little Saint Nick, John Lennon’s Happy Christmas, Paul McCartney’s Wonderful Christmas Time, Joe Beal & Jim Boothe’s Jingle Bell Rock, Johnny Marks’ Rockin Around the Christmas Tree, the Jackson Fives’ version of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause, and Wham’s Last Christmas (notably, the creepy way they sing: “someone speeeeecccccial…”).
What bothers me about Grown-Up Christmas List is just how Un-Grown-Up the song really is. Early in the song the lyrics mention “I wrote to you with childhood fantasies,” referring to when the singer was a child writing to Santa. The song goes on to describe what are supposed to be “grown-up” Christmas wishes, which turn out to be monumentally trite, idealistic, and even more fantastic than what you would imagine a child wishing.
I was happy to see one of my favorite writers, Mark Steyn, sharing the sentiment:
I was at the mall two days before Christmas, and it was strangely quiet. So quiet that, sadly, I was able to hear every word of Kelly Clarkson bellowing over the sound system “My Grown-Up Christmas List.” Don’t get me wrong — I love seasonal songs. “Winter Wonderland” — I dig it. “Rudolph” — man, he’s cool, albeit not as literally as Frosty. But “Grown-Up Christmas List” is one of those overwrought ballads of melismatic bombast made for the American Idol crowd. It’s all about how the singer now eschews asking Santa for materialist goodies — beribboned trinkets and gaudy novelties — in favor of selfless grown-up stuff like world peace.
Which is an odd sentiment to hear at a shopping mall.
…To return to Kelly Clarkson — and Barbra Streisand and Michael Buble and Amy Grant — the striking thing about their “Grown-Up Christmas List” is how childish it is. The concerned vocalist tells Santa that what she wants for Christmas is:
“No more lives torn apart,
That wars would never start…”
Whether wars start depends on the intended target’s ability to deter. As to “lives torn apart,” that, too, is a matter of being on the receiving end. If you’re in an African dictatorship, your life can be torn apart. If you’re in a society that values individual liberty, you’ll at least get a shot at tearing your own life apart — you’ll make bad choices, marry a ne’er-do-well, blow your savings, lose your job — but these are ultimately within your power to correct. The passivity of the lyric — the “lives” that get “torn apart” is very revealing. A state in which lives aren’t torn apart will be, by definition, totalitarian: As in The Stepford Wives or The Invasion Of the Body Snatchers, we’ll all be wandering around in glassy-eyed conformity. “Lives” will no longer be “torn apart” because they’re no longer lives, but simply the husks of a centrally controlled tyranny. To live is messy but liberating: Free societies enable the citizenry to fulfill their potential — to innovate, to create, to accumulate — while recognizing that some of their number will fail. But to attempt to insulate free peoples from moral hazard is debilitating and ultimately fatal. To Martin Wolf’s list of a Europe “too inert, too complacent, too weak,” we might add “too old”: Healthy societies recharge their batteries by the aged and wealthy lending their savings to the young and eager. But Germany is a population of prosperous seniors with no grandchildren to lend to. Japan is a society of great invention with insufficient youth to provide a domestic market. That’s why if you’re Sony or Ikea or any other great global brand, you want access to America for your product. That’s why economic recovery will be driven by the U.S., and not by Euro-Japanese entities long marinated in Obamanomics.
One final thought on “My Grown-Up Christmas List.” The first two lines always give me a chuckle:
“Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee…”
When was the last time you saw a child sit upon a Santa’s knee? Rod Liddle in the British Spectator reports that at a top London department store Santa sits at one end of the bench while a large “X” directs the moppet to a place down the other end, well out of arm’s reach. For even Santa Claus is just another pedophile in waiting. Naughty or nice? Who really knows? Best not to take any chances. That’s another way societies seize up — by obsessing on phantom threats rather than real ones.
Are free peoples now merely vulnerable infants in need of protection from the pedophile Santa of global capitalism? This is the issue that will determine the future: Euro-style state-directed protectionist sclerosis vs. individual liberty in all its messiness. I know what I want on my “Grown-Up Christmas List.”
Don’t count me a Grinch though. There are hours of great Christmas music that I absolutely love, despite the list above:
I built a website for the house I lived in during college and took a bunch of photos for the tour section of the page. Somehow – one ended up as a backdrop in The Daily Show the other day…
http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=179249 It’s about 3:30 into the clip.
If you go to the AO House Tour and scroll down to living spaces (click the image below):
How many billions of TV room pictures do you think there are on the Internet?
What the crap? Comedy Central – ever head of istockphoto.com? I think royalty free picks on there are about 2 bucks…
Update: Clearly they just ran a google image search for: ‘TV Room.’
Cross posted on You Thought We Wouldn’t Notice.
You know how people always talk about how we should ‘Get back to nature’. You know, all that ‘peace and harmony’ stuff?
What if Nature has other plans?
Ever seen a hawk up close? They are pretty dang well equipped.
…Like small flying bears…
Thank goodness the girl didn’t get hurt far more seriously.
…And if you believe that…You’re crazy! Keep reading…
The other day I put up this post about some thoughts I had posted elsewhere concerning conservative ideas on health care and poverty. A couple hours later the following comment by user ‘jacksmith’ popped up for approval. It’s a classic. Not only does it completely hype up a single payer health care plan based on some of Micheal Moores vast medical expertise…But It’s also spam. Not only does jacksmith’s comment have next to nothing to do with my post, I quickly googled the first sentence and found that ‘jacksmith’ had also posted the same thing verbatim here as well.
Either way, I thought this might be a great opportunity for a little analysis. My comments are in gray:
The #1 cause of injury, disability, and DEATH in America is, Health Care. (Wow, not just death, but…DEATH – that’s pretty serious. If you are going for a world record in weightiness though I would have gone for ***!!!DEATH!!!*** Plus, got a source for that statistic? Or is this another John Edwards statistic…) More people die now from contact (What, Like physical contact?) with the American Medical Health Care system than from any other cause of death. (Wait, what about African’s that get Malaria or AIDS and never come in contact with the “American Medical Health Care.” By the way – there is no “American Medical Health Care” system. That’s what you will have with government health care.) More than from Cancer, Heart disease, or Stroke. (What about talking on cellphone whilst crossing train tracks?) More than any other country in the world. (Uh…What?) Many times more than any other people in the world. (Again…Hello? Africa…) This fact (oh I see, it’s a fact because…uh…) is a catastrophic indictment of the entire US Health Care System.
Driven by greed. (nice sentence) And a rush to profit. (even better) Thousands of Americans are killed (like, intentionally?), and injured daily in America. By compromised health care. (again – “By compromised health care.” is not a sentence.) Cutting corners. (Who or what cut corners?) Over, and under treatments. (but not through the woods…) And poisonings with all manor of toxic, poisonous pharmaceuticals. (poisonings with toxic poison. nice.) Especially the children. (What? Especially the children were poisoning with toxic poisons?) America only makes up 2-4% of the world population. (more John Edwards statistics?) But Americans buy, and consume (shame on us for buying and consuming) 50% of all pharmaceuticals world wide. (the US likely develops 90%…)
But the tide has turned. (Let me guess…Ron Paul…) I can see it. Hear it. And feel it. (Do you live by the coast?) The message is getting out. And taking hold about the fact (there’s that ‘fact’ again) that we have a very serious, and major health care crisis going on in America. Hurting everyone. (Everyone? I’m not really hurting.) Especially our precious little children. (sigh… I can tell this is all going to end up being Bushitleraburton’s fault… Cause everyone knows, they hate precious little children.) Rich, and poor alike. (rich precious little children?) And most all Americans seem to understand now that “HR 676 Not For Profit Single Payer Universal National Health Care For All (Medicare For All)” (never heard of it) is the way to go. Like all the other developed countries have done. I have seen numbers as high as 90% of Americans want government managed health care Now. (More John Edwards stats. You know, question like, “Which would you prefer? Government health care, or having a cannonball fired straight into your junk?”) Medicare for all. Like other developed countries have. (see 3 sentences ago) And like older Americans have now. (older? Did you mean older liberal Americans?)
BRAVO!!! America. YOU GET IT! YOU REALLY GET IT! (what?) See sickocure.org. (Ah, I get it now. You got these ideas from world renowned medical prodigy, government policy expert, and bastion of objective truth, Micheal Moore. Whoops -I meant liar…)
It’s NOW TIME to bring out the BIG GUNS!! (the bigguns?) The BIG GUNS!! (ok, ok – the Big Guns are out) are you. (wait…we’re the Big Guns?) The American people. And anyone else that wants to help. From now until HR 676 is passed into law. I want every person to reach out and touch their fellow Americans every day if you can. (should we point the Big Guns at them?) I want you to take a phone book. (ok…I’m taking a phone book.) And call at least one of your fellow Americans every day. (“Hi random American. I read some comment when I was on the internet doing the computer the other night. It said that I should tell you that I have Big Guns and stuff. You should switch your doctor and local governor to Michael Moore. Oh and…um…vote for John Edwards?) And ask them to pickup the sword (Wait, what about the Big Guns?) of HR 676 Single Payer Not For Profit Universal Health Care For All (Medicare For All). (Is this like a Trademarked policy? Are you required to say the whole name every time? Why not abbreviate to HR676SPNFPUHCFA(MFA) well…no improvement.)
Call more than one each day if you can. (no) And ask them to do the same as you are doing if they can. (you must be joking.) And also to put maximum pressure on their politicians to get HR 676 done. (Maximum pressure? Are we talking, “I know where you live senator..” sort of stuff?) And to make sure their politicians support HR 676. Accept no substitute. (what about HR 676.1?) HR 676 is a no-brainer. (I agree. Nothing has appealed to me in any way so far whatsoever.) It’s the best way to go on health care. It’s the only moral, and ethical way to go. (moral and ethical? So not going with it is Immoral and Unethical?) That is why every other developed country has done it. Most did it years ago. (…More John Edwards ‘facts’)
I know that many of you have been doing a fabulous job of spreading the word by talking it up with family, friends, and co-workers. (kind of like selling Mary Kay or throwing Pampered Chef parties…) And putting pressure (I’ve decided to put Barometric pressure) on the politicians to get HR 676 done ASAP. The phone calls to your fellow Americans will increase the pressure. And grow the movement (I thought this was a health care program?) at an astonishing, and exponential rate. And I know many of you have been wanting to do something more to help. The phone calls to your fellow Americans is something you can do every day to help. (or get your number blacklisted)
Trust me. (and John Edwards) It will be something to see. But you have to keep the focus, and pressure on getting HR 676 passed pronto. (ok, you’ve said the same thing for two paragraphs now…) They will try to distract you. (Who’s They?) With all manor of other crises, and catastrophes. (this sounds ripped from the Bible) And other plans. Don’t be distracted. (Distracted from..what? calling?) HR 676 Single Payer Not For Profit Universal Health Care is the #1 concern of the American people. (#1 cause of DEATH – current free choice health care system — #1 concern – calling random people about a government monopolized system.) Thousands of Americans are dieing (dying?) daily now. (daily? From our current health care plan? So in America you can sue someone for coffee that’s too hot and win – but no-one is suing over the ‘thousands of deaths’ every day from our healthcare system…?) And you or your loved ones could be next. (What if my loved ones are doctors?)
There is no good reason HR 676 cannot be passed into law (Oh yes there is. Maybe the fact that this is a load of bull-crap to start…) well before the coming elections. Do not tolerate delays. If it is not passed before the coming elections. All America will know which politicians are on the side of the American people. (You guessed it, those who might oppose a government monopoly health care system – they’re on the side of DEATH!!! They love when people die. Especially children. And they love Halliburton!) And which are not when they vote. Well before the elections. (not. a. sentence.)
Everyone can do this. Most of you are well informed about HR 676. (by well informed you must mean guzzling Michael Moore Propaganda Kool-Aid) This truly is one of those no-brainers. Be considerate of your fellow Americans when you call. (…but if they happen to disagree you can tell them they are personally responsible for killing thousands of precious little children every day. Since you’ve already got them on the line – remind them they’re Fascists) But be comfortable about calling. (and spamming blogs.) These are your fellow Americans. Some will be receptive. And some will not be. Some maybe rude, and mean. Just thank them, and move on to the next. Most will be with you. (…John Edwards fact…) And if you get a call from one of your fellow Americans about HR 676. Let them know you are already on board. And thank them for calling. Build them up. And keep them strong. They are fighting for all of us. (What if they’re pharmaceutical researchers?)
I will try to make a second post with just a few of the reasons everyone with 2 working brain cells agrees HR 676 is the best way to go (Edwards facts…). But you can also look them up for your-self. And read some of the positive informed post on many of the message boards too. (Positive information in message boards? No. Such. Thing.)
Lastly, I am sick and tired (you should talk with your doctor…) of hearing how the candidates, and politicians health care plans are going to protect, and preserve the private for profit health insurance companies that have been killing, and ripping off the American people. (…Edwards) And now the politicians want to mandate (require) that every American has to support the private for profit insurance company’s that have been killing, and ripping you off. (If they were actually doing that – I’d disagree) Or you will be fined, and PENALIZED. (I feel Penalized having to read this garbage) Thats right. PENALIZED. Ridiculous! The politicians really think you are all detached idiots. (Help Help, I’m being detached!) CASH COWS! (And who pays for a government plan? We’re forced to through taxes. Slaves to the system is more like it.) To lead to the slaughter. (whoa! Slaughter?) Don’t put up with that.
So get on it America. Get those phones going. Chat it up! Save some lives. You want all of America talking about HR 676 becoming law, Now! Before more die needlessly. Make it happen. (Star Trek?) And to my fellow cyber warriors. (aka. Spammers) You have been doing great! I see it! Keep it up. 1 of 2 post… (Wait…what? Oh yeah -somehow you crammed it into one post for me. Thanks a lot!)
Below are a few reasons (oh good, I was wondering what to say to those total strangers I’ve been calling.) why “HR 676 Single Payer Not For Profit Universal Health Care For All (Medicare For All) is a no-brainer. (There’s that full name again. Clearly – a government program. It’s like when you see a Twinky ad where they keep referring to them as Hostess Twinky Cakes – as if anyone calls them that.) And some reasons why private for profit health insurance is a stupid idea, and injuring, and killing you and your loved ones. (Ed. Wards. Fact.)
Medicare cost 2-3% to administer. Private insurance cost 30% to administer. (Edwards)
Under HR 676 everyone would be covered from birth to death. (that is a horrible idea. People get used to this and it destroys them. This is exactly why Europe is in steep demographic decline.) No co-pays. No-deductible. No out of pocket cost. (No Freedom, No choice, No responsibility, No competition) Plus Dental. And Vision. For less cost than we pay now under private health insurance. (Whoops – Forgot about the Taxes.)
With private insurance. You have 47 million Americans with no insurance. (This has to be the absolute highest estimate for sure. And I have to wonder – Edwards fact?)
And 89 million Americans that had no insurance part of the time from 2006-2007.
And over a 100 million that are under insured.
18-30 thousand Americans that die each year from lack of health care. (wait, I thought it was from coming in contact with our Health Care system?)
Health Care bills as the #1 cause of personal bankruptcy. And loss of homes. (better than being dead.)
Under HR 676 health care is moral, and ethical. (oh really, how so?)
Private for profit insurance is immoral. And unethical. (HAHA! I was kidding before – but there it is. You are immoral and unethical if you disagree with universal health care. Beyond parody…)
Profit is the primary motive of the private insurance companies. (And how do they make a profit? By offering you a service. And if their service sucks or is too expensive – you purchase service elsewhere. This creates competition. )
They make profit by charging needy, vulnerable, sick Americans as much as they can charge them. (victims, we’re all poor needy victims. Let me tell you something. The belief in victimhood has been the foundation of most, if not all of the great evils this world has ever known. This is classic left thinking. We are all victims.)
Then they make more profit by denying them care when they most need it. (We are bordering on full on Marxism here. Big evil companies preying on the poor innocent victims..etc…etc… News flash – Marxism is absolute horse crap.) And are most vulnerable and unable to fight back. (Yep, Marxism) When they are sick. Or trying to recover from major illness.
Yep! I know you are getting angry. (Angry at your phony brainwashed communist/marxist view of the world. Let me guess, did you go to college in America?) I’m sorry. But I have to continue. (Oh for crying out loud…why me)
Under HR 676: we will save 300 billion dollars in administrative cost each year. (HA! Are you kidding? People will go to the doctor for anything and everything. And who pays for it? Everyone has to. We already have enough budget problems…sheesh)
With private insurance: we spent more per capita on health care than any other country in the world. (Edwards) Over twice as much as most other developed country’s. Yet we have 47 million with no health care. (Edwards…do I even have to keep saying this?)
We rank at the bottom in quality of health care #37. (Edw…you get it.)
Americans have a shorter life expectancy than people from all other developed countries. We rank # 42 in life expectancy. Down from #1. (All developed countries? And our health care system is the primary reason?)
For the first time in American history. (For the first time in American history…What?!? Write in complete sentences for crying out loud.) The life expectancy of American children is less than that of their parents. (Who’s writing this? Nancy ‘this is for the children’ Pelosi?) American children are dieing (driving?) at a record rate. And are in terrible health generally. (If this is true, that’s because people eat huge quantities of fat and sit on their fat butts all day. Not our health care system.)
People from other country’s enjoy a much higher level of general health than the best privately insured Americans. (80% of their income goes straight to the government as well. That helps motivate people to work…)
Americans are also shrinking. We used to be the tallest people in the world. Now we are down to # 10. (American shrinkage? This is clearly our health care system’s fault…clearly.)
People from other country’s never have to worry about going bankrupt, or loosing their homes over medical bills if they get sick. (yeah, they just work all day long and are free to spend about a third of their earnings on what they choose…)
Maybe you should go take a break for a while before I go on. (Maybe you should just not go on.) I know this must be upsetting. (Yeah, I will need a government provided shrink when I done reading this crap.) But this is just a small part of the sad truth about private health insurance that HR 676 can fix.
Under HR 676: Health care will be based on need. (How is need determined. If my lips hurt Real Bad is that a need? But not if they hurt Pretty Bad? It will be great when the government gets to decide this for us…) Not on profit. And high standards, and quality will be enforced (BWAHAHAHA! What a crock! It will be more like going to the DMV. Take a number and go wait.), and patients protected by the Government through a dedicated civil service. With the power, and resources to rain in abuses of patient care. Like they do with Medicare now. (oh yeah, great example…)
With private insurance: Medical care is base on ability to pay. And profit. Tens of thousands of patient are killed (intentionally?), and millions are injure, crippled, and mutilated (whoa. Mutilated? Went in with a headache, but because the government wasn’t monopolizing my health care I got mutilated. …Edwards…) each year under private for profit health care, and insurance.
By insurance companies denying needed care to increase their profits. (They deny them to increase profits? No. No they don’t.)
By hospitals cutting corners. And using the cheapest least experienced personnel (How insulting. Not to mention – does the government hire the most experienced people just to work at the Post Office?), equipment, and standards they can get away with. (They don’t get away with it because people take their business elsewhere or sue them into the ground. You statements are just plain lies.)
By doctors that over treat, and under treat. Who injure, mutilate, (spam) and kill patients with unnecessary test, procedures, surgery, and invasive diagnostic test for profit. (Once again, NO THEY DON’T. They would be sued into the stone age. By the way – that’s how John Edwards made his money – He sued doctors…) Who poison, kill, and injure millions of Americans with all manor of unnecessary pharmaceuticals for profit. Men, Women, Children, and babies. (Poisoning babies for profit. Interesting. Do you also think 9/11 and inside job?)
Americans makeup 2-4 % of the world population. But Americans buy, and consume 50% of all pharmaceuticals world wide. This is a monstrous evil. And immorality. (why?)
And lastly (thank. goodness.), by politicians that take blood money from all these despicable groups and turn blind eye’s to this slaughter of the American people. (Seriously, what the crap is this guy talking about?) And the slaughter of their own loved ones. (HA!) And them-self. (Ha! They make a profit to slaughter themselves?)
Well I could go on. (Yes, you do go on..and on..and on..AND YOU’VE SAID NOTHING!) And on. (@#*&$!) But I think this is enough to get you started making your daily phone calls to your fellow Americans to support HR 676. (No. I’m afraid a worthless spam message is not enough) And to help them understand how important it is that each of them join the fight. And bring the MAXIMUM pressure to bear on all individuals (All individuals?!?), parties, and especially your politicians, and Representatives. To get HR 676 passed into law immediately. (Don’t ask questions…just pass.)
This is an emergency. (Oh holy crap!) America is in a crisis. (what crisis?) More Americans have died from this health care crisis than have died in all the wars in US history. (Interestingly enough, the human death rate is 100% regardless of whether you died in a war or anywhere else.) Do your best. Millions of Americans lives are counting on each of you. Including your own life. Remember, you are Americans. (I get the feeling that ‘Americans’ is just a variable in an automatically generated spam message – as if it could be substituted with any country name.) You know how to fight for your country when you have too. The whole world is in your blood. (What?!?) I’m with you. (Omnipresent?)
All the best… 2 of 2 (oh yeah, this spam message was supposed to be two. They’re more convincing that way…)
Sheeew. I think my brain is going to explode. I guess I’m a little disappointed that Bush wasn’t mentioned. After all, he’s responsible for every problem we’ve ever had and will have. Plus, he loves to drown babies in crude oil…for profit. But oh well.
Now I am not denying that there are problems with the way our health care systems works. I highly doubt a government take-over is what will fix it though. And people who spam blogs with political propaganda are jackasses.
Exit question: Do you ever get conservative issue spam?