Jetpack News: Successful English Channel Crossing

Swiss daredevil Master Chief Yves Rossy today became the first person to cross the English Channel using only a jet-propelled wing trapped to his back.

After two previous attempts were postponed because of bad weather everything went to plan for Rossy’s 9 minutes and 32 second flight. He was helped on his way by a tailwind that cut his flight time by around two and a half minutes compared with his calculations before the attempt.

As he crossed the White Cliffs of Dover just after 1.05pm Rossy even had enough fuel left in the four kerosene-burning turbines powering his self-designed, homemade device for some celebratory aerobatics to entertain the crowds gathered below.

He then deployed his parachute and drifted gently downwards, waving his legs excitedly. Rossy’s ungainly face-in-the-dirt landing contrasted with the elegance of his high-altitude flight through the crystal blue autumn sky.

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Awesome. (I may or may not have made a slight alteration to the quoted copy above.) And yes…I am looking for the video which I will post if I find it… In the mean time – here’s video of him flying around the Swiss Alps:

And another sweet one (no english necessary to enhance the bodaciousness):

Video of the actual crossing here.

Ok – official assessment of the jet-pack:

WANT!!!!

Bank Teller to Robber – “Are you serious? – …robber flees!

This story made my day:

Police said a bank teller in suburban New York had a simple question for a would-be robber: Are you serious? 

Police said that was enough to spook the female suspect, who fled the Roslyn Savings Bank in Centereach late Thursday afternoon without a dime. 

Police said she walked into the bank located inside a supermarket on Route 25 about 4:49 p.m. and handed the teller a note demanding cash and threatening to open fire with a gun if the teller didn’t comply.

That’s when the teller apparently expressed her crime-fighting skepticism. Police said the woman left without ever showing a gun. 

They said she is also a suspect in the robbery of the Bank of Smithtown, also in Centereach, on September 23.

Source [ht: Drudge]

This Begins Southern California’s Eternity of Shame

OS:27 USC: 21

Again… U SuCk

Cruelty Alert: PETA requesting Breast Milk Sundaes

PETA Wants Ben & Jerry’s To Switch To Breast Milk Ice Cream

Albany, NY (WGY-AM) – PETA is making a plea to ice cream giants Ben & Jerry to convert their cow’s milk operation to human breast milk.

According to the animal rights group, human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms, and would benefit human health.

No. No it wouldn’t.

In a letter dated to the ice cream giant co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman said, “The breast is best! Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry’s ice cream?”

The letter comes in the wake of a report that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing women’s breast milk, and substituting that with 75% of the milk he uses in his ice cream.

Ben and Jerry’s responded by saying, “We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child.”

Translation: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! What the h*ll?!? Are they serious?

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Here’s the new Ben & Jerry’s Top Ten Flavor List:

  1. Breasty Garcia® Ice Cream
  2. Chocolate Chip Breast Dough Ice Cream
  3. Chocolate Fudge Breast Ice Cream
  4. Chunky Breast® Ice Cream
  5. Half Breast Ice Cream
  6. Phish Breast® Ice Cream
  7. New York Super Breast Chunk® Ice Cream
  8. Coffee Heath Breast Crunch® Ice Cream
  9. Cherry Garcia® Low Fat Frozen Breast
  10. Peanut Breast Cup Ice Cream

I went to their site and suggested the flavor: PETA Super Icy Breastcicle™ Delight. 

You know what Ben and Jerry’s really needs? More Veal flavors.

The real question – why not go after Starbucks? At least the patronage there are already used to absurd sounding orders:

“Yeah – I’ll have a Grande-SkinnyBoy-Sugarless-Caramel-Decaf-Breast-Milk-Double-Latte-No-Foam…”With room (for a little more breast milk no doubt)

You hardly notice it thrown in there.

PETA – seriously, you are your own worst enemy.

Spiderman in 5 seconds

Ohh – Sick burn.

How did Freddie and Fannie get so screwed?

Hint: What usually forces businesses to make bad business decisions?

How To Man-Hug

Important and pretty much, true:

ht: ‘So – you have a Sister!’

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